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Zip it already!

This isn’t going to be a funny post and I’m not even sure I want to rehash it because it’s going to make me seem petty and wallowing in my own petty pettyness but I am tired with a super-sized side of grouchy and I feel like I need to vent and pout. It is no secret that we’ve been trying to have another baby, it is no secret that we went through fertility to have Fussypants and it is no secret that we’ve begun that process again, although it is still the early stages so I don’t have much to say about it yet (I do have two funny stories about what happened during the “testing” phase but I’m so grumpy that I can’t post about it now because I won’t be entertaining).

Anyway, some people know that we’ve begun, several don’t and some probably suspect but don’t ask. And everyone so far has been really, really supportive of us expanding our family. We are hopeful and at times giddy with anticipation, but also realistic, and taking it one day at a time. Fussypants too…he has no idea what his daddy and I are going through but he tells us every day that he needs a sister (which means we will probably end up having twin boys).

But about an hour ago, one of my very, very, very dear friends just, well to be honest, she just pissed me off. I had called her to ask her something and when she called me back she launched right in to her news. She started it off with I got some really, really good news today about So&So; (name withheld ’cause I feel like it). So I immediately knew that So&So; (someone I only know as an acquaintance but she’s great) was pregnant. And I was correct, she is – with twins. And that’s wonderful, I’m super happy for her. She and her hubby had done fertility with their first too, they had also miscarried and they have a child a little older than Fussypants. So I get it and I’m thrilled for her. And I said as much to my friend, then tried to change the subject. But for some reason she.didn’t.let.it.go. She started talking about how they had contacted their fertility doctor but then found out they were pregnant on their own before they started and it’s twins naturally and their doctor told them this happens all the time. And at that point I tuned out.

Because it doesn’t happen all the time, if it did, it would have happened for us. I must have scoffed or something because she slowed her spewing of how-great-this-is but then started right back up. I swear she told me three times that her friend’s doctor told her this happens all the time.

I vent because I feel that she, of all people, should know better than to rub it in to someone who is trying themselves to conceive, who would love to do it on their own, without the invasive testing, the drugs, the hubby-stress, the million appointments and everything else that goes along with it. Sure, call me and share the happy news that So&So; is pregnant with twins but then let it go.

All I can assume is that she was trying in a lame way to give me a pep talk. And if that is true, I appreciate it but it was the wrong way to go about it.

So there you have it: Hi, my name is Coreen and I am a super grouch. Thanks for letting me vent and be petty. I am now going to take my headache and hot flashes and go home.



  1. *hugs*

    I'm happy to drive up the 5 and get all Jersey on her ass! (Just let me know.)

  2. Oh coreen, I have a friend in the same situation, although she still has not had her first, and when the subject of babies comes up, she completely shuts down, I have learned to be very careful of what I say, not because I don't want to offend her, but because I don't want to hurt her…anyway, your friend should know better then that..and she should have said and moved on, on to what you needed to talk to her about. It is ok to be grumpy…go with it, pitch a fit, always makes me feel better …hugs to you~

  3. Thanks ladies. Because I have a wonderful son, I'm not depressed or frantic about our long road to conceiving a second child, but when comments like "it happens all the time" are tossed carelessly around it just makes me feel bad because if that were true, then how much do we suck that it didn't happen for us? Thanks for your support!

  4. As someone also trying to conceive, my favorite comment after "it happens all the time" is "if you're meant to have a baby, it'll happen." WTF?

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