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The Hole Story

On Friday night, Fussypants asked me and hubby “where the hole for the baby is”. At first we didn’t understand, but what he meant was, where does the baby come out. Seriously, our three year old asked that.

He then asked if the hole was in my back or my belly, then tried looking down my shirt. He was also very concerned that the baby would be coming out my bum or “dingding” (he knows that he and daddy have dingdings and that mommy does not but he still thinks that general area is called dingding).

After hubby and I shared a chuckle, because he is only three and clearly more intuitive then we give him credit for, we decided to tell him the truth. Hubby looked him in the eye and said, “The baby is going to come out of mommy’s vaaaaaa….I can’t do it, I can’t say that in front of him, it’s too grown-up a word”. To which we both started laughing inappropriately and Fussypants got confused.

But being three has advantages, one of which is a short attention span. During our lapse to 8th grade humor giggle-fit, the Upside Down Show came on and Fussypants lost interest in us for the next 30 minutes, then it was bedtime.

Saturday came and went, hubby and I thought we dodged a bullet.

But alas, not so. Sunday night Fussypants again asked “where the hole for the baby is”. We somehow changed the subject and began polling all our friends with more than one child on what they did in this situation.

But, for the most part, we are unique. Many of our friends had kids close together so their oldest didn’t comprehend it enough to ask about it, or their kids were spaced farther apart and had a more mature understanding of the birds and the bees.


We want to be honest, on that point hubby and I are sure. But we also want to use age-appropriate language. He attends a Christian preschool and will repeat anything, which I know he’d do when singing in chapel. I can hear it now, “My mommy is having a baby from her vagina” right between verses of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and B.I.B.L.E – that’s the book for me.

And he won’t believe the stork story, he has felt his baby sister move inside me so he knows she is in there and will come out somehow. And we don’t want to freak him out by fibbing and saying babies come out your bellybutton or explain what a c-section is (not that I am having one but someone did suggest telling him that, though explaining that the baby is going to be cut out seems too scary for a tot).

Another friend suggested explaining that the baby will arrive via the birth canal, which makes a little more sense but doesn’t answer his original question of “where the hole is”.

My mom is sending me the book she and my dad used to explain the birds and the bees to me and my brother so maybe that will help. I recall the book and it is well-suited for small children. Until then, I may take the advice from this article and tell him that “there is a special place for babies to be born and all women have them”.

Hopefully that will satisfy him, but I doubt it. He’s a smart-stinker and is still going to want to know the Hole story.


gingerbreadmama

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