Home About Me Awards Favorite Blogs Momformation Favorite Adventures

My Foray Into Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

Tonya (Letters for Lucas) introduced me to this clever exercise to expand your writing chops, Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop, and after reading and enjoying hers and her sister Leah’s (LA ‘n’LA), I’ve decided to try it for myself.

This week, I chose prompt #2 “Before I was a mom…”

I’ve always been the momish one. My husband teased me and dubbed me “soccer mom” years before we had kids because I’m the one who is prepared. I carry snacks, band-aids, tampons, mints, nail file, scissors, you name it, you need it, I have it. I’m the friend other friends call for a ride, I’ve bailed more than one person out of jail, I give good advice and have the answers…maybe not all the right ones but I can help set you on your path to find what you need. So before I was a mom, I was already kind of a mom.

I am also a wife, sister, daughter, friend, and employee and that’s where my struggle lies.

Because before I was a mom, I was a wife. I am still a wife, but out of all my roles, that is the one I struggle with the most and the one that is the most neglected. Wife and Mother are the two I cannot turn off, those are the two that I am on a daily basis. I can suspend being an employee when I leave work, a daughter/sister because my family lives far away and a friend because they have their own lives but Wife and Mother are me, all the time and Wife often takes a back seat to Mother.

It is not easy for me to not be able to balance both and I admit that there are times I make a conscious decision that my children come first. With two kids under the age of four, they often need their mommy more than my husband needs a wife. I know it is skewed and I am working on it.

It can’t be easy on my husband. We were together 11 years before having kids, I was his partner in crime, porn star lover, travel companion, workout partner, and biggest fan. I am still all those things, I am sometimes just too tired to express them. I hope he understands but I know he struggles with it, just as I do.

Life is filled with phases, and I am getting used to the mothering part. It will get easier and I will be able to balance Wife/Mother better. I was just getting that balance back when we got pregnant with our second child, and I am working very hard to find the balance sooner than later this time around.

I enjoy the wife in me, and I know my husband does too. She’s a huge part of who I am and I am doing my best to incorporate and meld all my roles so I can, again, be complete.

gingerbreadmama

Comments

  1. I married such an independent man, but even he feels neglected at times. It really is a difficult balance!

  2. Thanks for the comment! I am so happy I am not the only one who struggles. My hubby is very independent too but right now, with a 3 yr old and a newborn, we are missing out on the adult alone time.

  3. I'm struggling with the same thing. Ive only been "Mom" for 12 weeks and trying to be a couple is tough. By acknowledging that you are struggling with the wife role, means you are at least aware that that role still exists. I think so many marriages start to have problems when people forget they are more than just parents.

    I love your blog! Stoppin' by from Mama Kat's.

  4. Such a great first Mama Kat's entry!! Very well put and totally relateable (well, a part from the employee part)

    And look, the creator herself even commented!!

  5. Laura, congratulations! I hope you are enjoying your new baby and role of mom.

    I too have seen marriages change when kids are born and that is ok to an extent but the husband/wife aspect of a marriage is so important and must be nurtured. As hard as it is to maintain, I am trying!

  6. Ms T-you do a good job of getting "me" time and "husband/wife" time for yourself. I need to do that more!

Speak Your Mind

*