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One of those days

Rather than a joyous one of those days moments I’m having a weepy mommy moment.

Less than an hour after I arrived at work, I got a call from my children’s school informing me that “while changing her diaper, Teacher Ms X thought Little Miss felt warm. She’s running a temperature of 101, so please come and get her.”

In itself, this isn’t a big issue, aside from the fact that you never want your children to be ill. My boss is more than flexible and babies in daycare/preschool environments are susceptible to a variety of germs because everything goes in their mouth but I have received this call five times in the last three weeks.

Little Miss weathered a double ear infection, pink eye, RSV, another ear infection and now whatever this fever represents. She is only 10 months old.

As a mom, I am kicking myself for taking her to the Kings game on Monday night. Although she was bundled up snug as a love bug, maybe it wasn’t enough.

As a mom, I am kicking myself for not noticing that she was warm when I got her dressed for school this morning, carried her into school this morning, and kissed her goodbye at school this morning.

As a mom, I am feeling guilty for having to hide from Fussypants when I picked up his sister because he was just getting out of Chapel (which is directly across from the infant/toddler room) and if he had seen me, he would have wanted to go home too.

As a mom, I am feeling guilty for having to leave my sick babe with her Nana (husband wasn’t home yet) because I have a meeting I cannot reschedule at work.

So there it is, today I am feeling crappy that I work.

Which is not a fair thing to do to myself. I long ago came to terms with the fact that I am a working mother.

I don’t straddle the line.

I am a mom.

I have a career.

I make it work.

You can read more about that here. But today I am having a weepy mommy moment because I didn’t notice my baby girl was ill, I want to be home with her but instead have to be in the office.

And the universe must agree because when I dropped her off at my mom’s house, I stepped in dog poop.

gingerbreadmama

gingerbreadmama

Comments

  1. I love this post. Especially the dog poop part. I am a working mom and I, too, have come to terms with it, but also have those difficult moments as well. Tomorrow is another day! I hope Little Miss gets better soon.

  2. Aww, Mama guilt is the worst. Stay at home, work out of home, work at home. Everyone feels it! Hugs, and hope she is better soon!

  3. Thank you, and I'm so happy to know I am not alone. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

  4. As you saw on Twitter, I had the EXACT same feelings today. Stupid Mama guilt.

  5. Oh, we ARE sisters in solitude! I feel your pain. It's SO HARD, that minu guilt.

  6. Oh honey, you had me at dog poop! :) you rock.

  7. Mom guilt sucks and you are not alone… I kick myself for stuff all day long.

    And the dog poop / universe thing? The universe doesn’t know a damn thing, you are doing a great job keeping it all together. Hope Little Miss feels better soon.

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    • David – I think more of us Quakers should read Hauerwas he has a lot to say to our tradition and I think could help us out a bit.Do you have a favorite book of his or essay?

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