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Christmas Ditty (Writer’s Workshop)

It’s been a very long time since I participated in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. But this week, I wanna play. However, I’m modifying the prompt I chose a little though: 1.) 10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want

I cannot recall not getting what I wanted for Christmas. Ever. Except maybe a boob job, so I just bought it for myself (but you know what? My mom paid for half of it). So I guess I’m lucky, or spoiled. Maybe a bit of both. Don’t hate.

But this year, I’d really like a few simple things. It’s not much to ask for but it is a daily battle at our house. Seriously, some aspects of motherhood are such fun. So I put my wants in a song (to the tune of All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth by Donald Yetter Gardner).

Sing along now!

All I want for Christmas
is to pee alone,
pee alone,
oh  just pee alone!

Gee, if I could only
have some time to pee alone,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas.”

All I want for Christmas
is to chew food slow,
chew food slow,
oh  just chew food slow!

Gee, if I could only
chew my food slow,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas.”

Ok, insert your pre-motherhood wish here and sing it loud, sing it proud.

Hopefully I’ll get one day (but will settle for half-a-day) where I get the bathroom all to myself, I get to actually enjoy my food at the temperature it is supposed to be, and I don’t hear NO every time I ask the kids to do something.

The magic of Christmas, it could happen.



  1. You get to chew your food?

    Lucky bitch.

    • Gingerbreadmama says:


      • that is so messed up!!! my whole complex community, hates paypal. All they do is make you go in circles instead of helping you with your problems. I do2n&8#17;t know how much they get there, i guess it is not enough for them to not do their job right. If i were you i would leave them and never do business with them again. They don’t desever good clients in their company. They need clients like thier employee are. Lazy and no good!

  2. I am so with you on the privacy in the bathroom thing. I swear, every time I walk into the bathroom and close the door, there is an immediate urgent knock.

    But I know how to count my blessings. At least they knock now (most of the time). They used to all just barge in.

    Great post!

  3. Love this!!

    Very clever.

    Hope Santa delivers. :)

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