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Baby Big Girl

 

How my daughter is turning three tomorrow, I have no idea. It seems like just yesterday she was a newborn. In this short period of time, she’s blossomed into a very sweet, sassy, smart, funny, stubborn, silly little girl. She holds her own with her big brother and surprises me every day with something new she’s learned, be it a song, a ballerina dance she’s made up or counting higher than the day before. She “reads” her brother books, feeds the dog water from a spoon and tells me she loves me often, and says thank you when I tell her I love her. She’s my little shadow, wanting to be around only me if I’m in the vicinity and loves to hold my hand “because it fits”, even in the house.

 

When Fussypants was turning three, I was pregnant with Little Miss and I was so ready for him to be self-sufficient. I didn’t miss him needing me to help him go potty, get a snack or put on his shoes. I was on bed rest, but still working, I was ill and exhausted and ready for him to grow up. But knowing that she’s my last baby, makes having her grow up more difficult. I guess I have a bit of the baby blues. I look at my son, about to graduate Kindergarten and my daughter, about to turn 3 and I can’t help but think of them as babies and wonder where the time went. But we are done, our family is what it is, so don’t get any ideas.

 

But back to my baby girl turning three. I know that if she had been a boy, I would have been happy and our family would have been perfect but I’m not going to lie. I love having a daughter. Every woman should have one, it’s such a humbling experience. She can bring me to my knees in a way Fussypants just doesn’t. But he can make me laugh (especially if I am angry) in a way she never has. He is so easy-peasy compared to her. Maybe it’s his personality or maybe with boys what you see is what you get, but we’ve never argued over what underwear he’s wearing that day and Little Miss and I have had daily meltdown spats over the choice of Disney character on her chonies and she’s not yet three. And don’t get me started about trying to brush her hair. We never had terrible twos with him, but the terrible twos started with her when she was 1.5. 90% of the time, she’s sweet and funny but when that 10% hits…watch out. My mom calls it “going dark”. Her whole face changes, clouding over and she stops talking. She’ll screech like a baby pterodactyl, which is unpleasant, and where we could easily use the redirection method with her brother, she’s focused on whatever it is she isn’t getting and pouts. I’m really hoping that she’s outgrown it and that we won’t have a year of the terrible threes.

 

For her birthday, she wanted a bounce house and Cinderella. So we accommodated. A friend of mine from college warned not to peak on the parties at such a young age, but having Cinderella come to the house was amazing. Little Miss was so excited, it was just the most heart-warming thing to watch. She is still talking about her visit, days later. She actually slept in her Princess dress the night of her party. My hunky fireman husband, who had worked three in a  row and was exhausted, even stopped at the Disney store on his way home to buy her a Cinderella crown (so swoon-worthy, he’s such a good daddy) and she wore it all day long.

 

On her actual birthday, my mom and I are taking her to Disneyland and she has an appointment at the Bibbiddy Bobbiddy Boutique to get a Cinderella up do by a Godmother-in-training. Over the top? Maybe. But I have a daughter and can do girlie things like that if I want to.

 

So happy 3rd birthday to my baby big girl. I love you so much, you and your brother fill my heart with sunshine, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

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Mother’s Day Gift

Two days before Mother’s Day and I did something really dumb. Fussypants asked me this morning if I could walk him into class today, because he had a gift for me. I said sure, and he said, no I mean really walk into my classroom, come all the way in. I have a surprise.

So I did and was given a brightly decorated for me,  by my son, bag. His teacher told me to be careful with it, because what was inside was breakable. My son, beaming, gave me a kiss and said Happy Mother’s Day Mama!

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With a full heart and a big smile, I tenderly carried it to the car. Little Miss had chosen this morning to accessorize with all her princess bling, and as I was getting her into her car seat , she dropped a bracelet and ring into the street. I set my precious gift on top of the mommy buggy, picked up the dropped jewels, secured Little Miss into her car seat and promptly drove away.

Because I was in front of the school I was not driving very fast but it was fast enough to fling my beautiful Mother’s Day present crashing to the ground. My gift, made for me by my son, which I hadn’t even opened yet. I heard it happen, stopped and retrieved it. As soon as I picked it up I knew it was broken.

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My heart has hurt all day. And I’ve shed some tears. But I am married to a man who keeps a well-stocked garage so I am confident there is super glue in there somewhere that may fix this beautiful art. I am not confident that it will work but I have to try. I don’t even know how to tell my son I broke this.

So Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mamas. Hug your precious gifts close.

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Missing Laughable Moments: Guest Posting at Things I Can’t Say

Do you get enough sleep? I don’t. And it makes me crabby. And my kids notice. But thanks to Shell, who gives us a voice to say the things we think but don’t always think we should say, I have a guest post up at Things I Can’t Say today. So please visit her blog, and let me know I’m not alone.

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Cravings

What I wanted after my workout was a venti nonfat iced dirty chai but what I had was the toxic avenger green detox shok made from something healthy, something good for you and something else healthy. Because it’s all about making healthy choices people.

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Ok, I’m laughing too. Those that know me know there is no way I am giving up all the good but not good for you stuff. But I am trying. I have to cut back on my caffeine intake and replacing a cup of joe with a glass of juices is the right thing to do and (hopefully) won’t send me spiraling into a shock-filled, binge eating rage.

Haven’t decided yet if I am going to go all out with the “juicing” but as my friend Kristina says, “baby steps”.

For now, I’ll have a glass instead of coffee and work myself up to a 3-day cleanse. Who knows, maybe I’ll love it and crave it (like my friend) and buy myself one if those fancy, ridiculously expensive machines and make my own concoctions of something healthy, something good for you and something else healthy.

What? It could happen.

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To Pee or Not To Pee

When I had my first child, I read all the books, even What to Expect The Toddler Years but my firstborn was 3.5 when I had my second child and for two years after that (it seems) all I read was medicine labels and newspaper headlines so file this under Just Another Thing I Missed in the Parenting Handbook.

Bedwetting. Not baby diaper leaking bedwetting or potty training bedwetting but a 45 lb SIX YEAR OLD BOY who has been dry through the night for over two years suddenly bedwetting. Said six year old boy also inherited his mother’s ginormous bladder so, we are talking a lot of pee.

In the past week and a half, Fussypants (the aforementioned age six year old) has wet the bed four times. It’s usually around 4am, though once it happened closer to 6am. And when he realizes he’s done it, he SCREAMS for me down the hall. The first time he did that, I woke up with such a start that I thought someone was in his room trying to cart him away through the window. As unpleasant as bedwettinng and the clean-up involved is, being awoken from a deep sleep like that is worse. And when I told my husband that our son had wet the bed, he mumbled “sucks for you” as he rolled over and fell back to sleep. The joys of motherhood.

The good news is that bedwetting in a previously dry through the night child is not completely uncommon. According to my Google search, 13% of all six years olds suffer some sort of nocturnal enuresis  (it even has a fancy unpronounceable name). In my son’s case, it’s considered secondary nocturnal enuresis (children who are dry for at least 6 months start bedwetting again ).

The bad news is, the cause is either unknown, emotional,  a change in sleep patterns or physical. My Google search also informed me that if his sudden nighttime pee-fest is physical, it could be because of something awful, “physical causes are rare, but may include lower spinal cord lesions, birth defects of the genitourinary tract, infections of the urinary tract, or diabetes.” Awesome.

At this point, I’m fairly sure it’s not physical or emotional. Nothing in our routine or life has changed, he is healthy, and is not having accidents any other time of the day. But he is a very deep sleeper. And even if he uses the toilet right before going to bed, there is still a chance he won’t wake up in time, if he needs to whiz.

So for now, our next step is to limit his fluid intake at night. I told him this morning he needed to drink plenty of liquids today because after dinner he was cut-off. He didn’t like that, but I’m sure he likes waking up wet even less.

And Hunky Hubby and I have made sure that we are not embarrassing him (until he’s a teenager and his gal pal runs across this blog post) or punishing him. We are treating it as something that just sometimes happens, a normal part of growing up and it won’t last forever (God help us). Hopefully that reassurance and limiting his evening liquids will get him back on track.

If not, Google tells me that there are bedwetting alarms (because that sounds pleasant) and a prescription medication (pleasant, I again say with sarcasm) that we can look into.

And don’t think it didn’t occur to me that this is Fate’s little joke because I was gloating about how well Little Miss was doing with her potty-training. I get Universe, you are bigger than me.

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Little Miss…Manners

Please, thank you, excuse me….all very easy words to say. It’s important to me that my children are polite. Polite children make for polite adults. There is nothing cute or endearing about a demanding child and a demanding adult is even worse.

Fussypants was polite from the womb. I had a relatively easy pregnancy, and aside from him being eight days early, a fairly easy delivery. He nursed right away, he crawled early, he walked early, he talked early and even before his vocabulary was developed, he’d sign the word for please.

Then, when he did speak, he said please and thank you before and after everything…including no, please when he didn’t want to do something. So sweet and so polite. Now, as an almost six year old, he sometimes forgets to say please but 95% of the time, he remembers.

His sister is an entirely different story. She’s been bossy since the womb. Eight weeks of bedrest because of contractions, then she arrived two weeks early. The girl wants what she wants and she wants it on her schedule.

She prefers to demand instead of ask politely. And if you don’t move quickly enough to her liking, she’s been known to push you in the direction of what she wants. She also makes this horrid EH sound, like a buzzer on a game show if she doesn’t like something. And the drama…she makes a show of what she will do if you don’t do as she wants. She took her diaper off yesterday, and demanded I peepee, CHANGE ME. My response, In a minute, I’m busy. And what do you say when you want something? She gave me the toddler stare, smiled a smile that meant she was up to no good and replied, Mama change me or I peepee on flooooorrr! Awesome. (And yes, we are working on potty training but that’s a post on its own).

So we’ve been patiently and consistently working with her to add please, thank you and excuse me to her vocabulary. 60% of the time she forgets, we remind her. 30% of the time she doubles up the good stuff…Thank you please and 10% of the time she asks so nicely, I could cry. Overall, she is a very sweet (albeit demanding) little girl and will figure out that she’ll get her way more often when she adds the please, thank you and excuse mes to her repertoire. And she’d better, because it’s important to me that my children are polite.

Until then, some days, the Princess rules the roost.

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Judgement…Kindergarten style

A few days ago, I was brushing Little Miss’s hair and I said “your hair is so pretty, I wish mine was this pretty” (seriously, it is like silk) and Fussypants says, very matter of fact, “Mom, that is the law of God #9…don’t want what others have.”

So I deduced that he is paying attention while learning commandments. And (in an unchristian-like way) thought to myself how awesome it’s going to be having my 5 yr old calling me out in judgement from this point forward.

Then, on Friday, his first ever report card was sent home. At this level, they don’t receive ABC grades. Instead, E = Exceeds Grade Level Expectations, S = Meets Grade Level Expectations, and N = Needs Improvement.

This proud mama is happy to share that Fussypants received all S and S+s in every standard, except one. In one category he got an E. Anyone wanna guess what it was?

That’s right, he received an Exceeds Grade Level Expectations in Christian Faith and Life.

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For the toddler that couldn’t sit still in church for more than 10 minutes, that’s impressive. And reinforces that we made the right choice, sending him to a private Christian school. He is excelling and he is happy and as a parent, that makes me happy (even if he is going to up the judgement factor while they are learning this segment)!

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Happy Anniversary to my favorite person

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October 28, 2000, twelve years ago, I married the love of my life. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry, he challenges me and he supports me. He’s my person.

We dated almost four years before we got married and I had no doubts. Our wedding ceremony was outside, and the night before, it rained. Several people were on me to make a decision if we were moving the ceremony inside. Because my husband and I lived together, I had spent the night before our wedding in the hotel, so I called my husband to get his opinion. As soon as I said hello, he started singing “going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married”. He told me he didn’t care if we were married indoors or outdoors because by the end of the day, we’d be married. And that was exactly how I felt too. At the end of the day, we were married. Outside, by the way. And it was beautiful.

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In the last twelve years, we’ve built a life together that has overflowed with blessings and adventure and with heartache and ordinary. But I’ve longed believed that your wedding day is just one day, albeit a magical, beautiful day, but it is every day after that makes a marriage. All the good, all the bad wrapped up tightly together as one package. As our life. Our beautiful life.

Happy anniversary to my best friend, the love of my life, the father of my children. Thank you for our beautiful wedding day and most importantly, for every day after. For you, for me.

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Pool Safety – Please Read!

Our daughter almost died on Sunday. This is not a joke or an embellishment. Our two year old baby girl fell into the deep end of our pool, wearing a diaper (that gets very heavy when wet), while her father, mother, aunt and older brother were all in the house. I wanted to write about this yesterday but every time I thought about it I started to cry.

What I know…

The pool gate was not closed. None of us adults closed it and none of us, myself, my husband or my sister-in-law can answer why we left it open. But it was.

I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. My husband and sister-in-law were in the backyard, near the BBQ. Little Miss wandered outside, and I heard my husband say “You don’t have shoes on, so you need to go inside”. I didn’t see her, or my husband or sister-in-law come inside.

I finished what I was doing in the kitchen and went to the living room where my sister-in-law had just sat down with my son and out of the corner of my eye I saw my husband react. I saw him throw papers in the air and run outside. He had been coming out of our office with something he had retrieved off the printer and before the papers could flutter to the ground I knew. I just knew that our daughter was in the pool.

I ran outside after him and he was already in the water, pulling her up. She was conscious. She spit out water and started to cry. She clung to me for 20 minutes before she’d even let me take her diaper off. Her eyes were as big as saucers.

My husband said he didn’t hear anything, not a splash, not a cry. Nobody heard anything. What he saw, what caught his attention, was our dog looking into the pool. He then realized the pool water had ripples. He said when he dove in, she was almost to the bottom. Our two year old was almost at the bottom of the deep end of our pool.

I think of the what ifs and I start to cry. My husband is a hero for noticing what my sister-in-law and I didn’t, but we are all to blame for not closing the pool gate. We are blessed that she is ok, and the pool gate will never be left open again.

According to the CDC every day, about ten people die from unintentional drowning. Of these, two are children aged 14 or younger. Drowning ranks fifth among the leading causes of unintentional injury death in the United States.

Summer is here, doors are open, distractions abound. Please, please, please be safe around the water and take as many precautions as you can. Drowning is silent, it is quick, and it can happen to anyone.

Tips to help you stay safe in the water (sourced from www.cdc.gov)

  • Supervise When in or Around Water. Designate a responsible adult to watch young children while in the bath and all children swimming or playing in or around water. Supervisors of preschool children should provide “touch supervision”, be close enough to reach the child at all times. Because drowning occurs quickly and quietly, adults should not be involved in any other distracting activity (such as reading, playing cards, talking on the phone, or mowing the lawn) while supervising children, even if lifeguards are present.
  • Use the Buddy System.  Always swim with a buddy. Select swimming sites that have lifeguards when possible.
  • Seizure Disorder Safety.  If you or a family member has a seizure disorder, provide one-on-one supervision around water, including swimming pools. Consider taking showers rather than using a bath tub for bathing. Wear life jackets when boating.
  • Learn to Swim. Formal swimming lessons can protect young children from drowning. However, even when children have had formal swimming lessons, constant, careful supervision when children are in the water, and barriers, such as pool fencing to prevent unsupervised access, are still important.
  • Learn Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR). In the time it takes for paramedics to arrive, your CPR skills could save someone’s life.
  • Air-Filled or Foam Toys are not safety devices.  Don’t use air-filled or foam toys, such as “water wings”, “noodles”, or inner-tubes, instead of life jackets. These toys are not life jackets and are not designed to keep swimmers safe.
  • Avoid Alcohol.  Avoid drinking alcohol before or during swimming, boating, or water skiing. Do not drink alcohol while supervising children.
  • Don’t let swimmers hyperventilate before swimming underwater or try to hold their breath for long periods of time. This can cause them to pass out (sometimes called “shallow water blackout”) and drown.
  • Know how to prevent recreational water illnesses.  For more information about illnesses from recreational water, see the More Information section below.
  • Know the local weather conditions and forecast before swimming or boating.  Strong winds and thunderstorms with lightning strikes are dangerous.

If you have a swimming pool at home:

  • Install Four-Sided Fencing. Install a four-sided pool fence that completely separates the pool area from the house and yard. The fence should be at least 4 feet high. Use self-closing and self-latching gates that open outward with latches that are out of reach of children. Also, consider additional barriers such as automatic door locks and alarms to prevent access or alert you if someone enters the pool area.
  • Clear the Pool and Deck of Toys.  Remove floats, balls and other toys from the pool and surrounding area immediately after use so children are not tempted to enter the pool area unsupervised.

If you are in and around natural water settings:

  • Use U.S. Coast Guard approved life jackets. This is important regardless of the distance to be traveled, the size of the boat, or the swimming ability of boaters; life jackets can reduce risk for weaker swimmers too.
  • Know the meaning of and obey warnings represented by colored beach flags. These may vary from one beach to another.
  • Watch for dangerous waves and signs of rip currents. Some examples are water that is discolored and choppy, foamy, or filled with debris and moving in a channel away from shore.
  • If you are caught in a rip current, swim parallel to shore. Once free of the current, swim diagonally toward shore.

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The Potty Cheerleader

Little Miss I’m Now Two has taken it upon herself to cheer me on while I go potty. She enters the bathroom and stands in front me with a big smile on her face, clapping and saying Yay mommy, Yay!

It’s quite motivating, in a very odd, absolutely no privacy, way.

She even pulls toilet paper off the roll, wads it up and hands it to me.

I’ve often said I need a personal assistant, but this is not what I had in mind.

One of these days, I’ll get it on video. The cheering part, not the potty part. I’m not that kind of girl.

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