Everyone has a story when it comes to getting pregnant, and, sadly, most of my friends, myself included, didn’t get pregnant easily and we’ve all suffered loss in some form.

But this past year has been especially difficult for three of my friends. One had three miscarriages back-to-back and was told she ran a high risk of having another. One miscarried, didn’t get pregnant for another two years, then lost that baby in the 2nd trimester and has since had two IVF attempts not take. One beat cancer but at the cost of her uterus and ovaries, but did an egg retrieval before treatment, has six “babies” just waiting for a womb but has had two surrogates back out for personal reasons. And on top of all that horribleness, which is more than one person should ever endure, they are also dealing with the high costs and high emotions of seeking medical help.

When I hear what they are going through it hits me in the gut like it was happening to me because I know what it is like to want something so much and have it just out of your reach. I wish I could do something, anything, for them.

Because I am a fixer and there has to be a solution.

But I either don’t have the words to tell them to keep hope in their heart. That they are in my prayers. That they will be moms someday.

Or I have too many words that they don’t need to hear because they don’t want a fucking cheerleader. They don’t want to hear that they will be moms someday when that day seems unattainable. They don’t want to hear they are in my prayers when theirs aren’t being answered. They don’t want to know that I think spending every cent you own to have a baby is worth it. Or that there are always options.

Because my words can’t fix it.

But you are in my prayers and I hope you keep trying. And I will be here for you, silently or screaming at the top of my lungs. Whatever you need from me to get you through.

Because we are in this together, you are my sisters of choice and I’ll share your loss just like I’ll share your joy.

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