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Making lemonade

I had a maddening mommy moment today.

Yesterday another mom texted me to verify that it was “feast” day (where the parents all bring a food item so the kids can have a special lunch party and we don’t have to pack our kids a lunch) at the preschool because she didn’t make her son a lunch. I told her it wasn’t until Wednesday and Thursday, so she had to scramble to catch her hubby at home so he could pack a lunch for their kid.

So I get to the school today, confident in my knowledge that it is feast day, with no lunch packed for Fussypants and overhear one of the teachers telling another parent that it’s not a “feast” party it’s a “snack” party.

WTF?

So I say,” Really? Because that wasn’t my understanding and I know another mom who didn’t pack her son a lunch either” (but she hadn’t brought her kid to school yet so I had no back up). And the teacher says in the most condescending way, “If you didn’t need to bring Fussypants a lunch, then we would have put up a note”.

Well la-de-da and FU too. By the way, I only thought that, I didn’t say it. It’s a Christian preschool so I kept my mouth shut. For once.

Now out of the three teachers in my son’s room, she is my least favorite. We’ve just never made a connection, probably because she doesn’t engage and is more like a greeter than a teacher, “Hi, have a nice day, see you tomorrow” is really the most I ever hear from her. She never talks to me about my son, like the other two teachers do. And when I ask her questions about him she answers in really short sentences. It’s painful.

So now I’m really ticked off. One of my main duties as a parent is to make sure my child is fed and he has no flipping lunch. And the teacher made me feel like an a-hole for not knowing.

I’m already late for work but I race to the store to buy him lunchables and apples and a drink. I also bought a bag of frozen peas to keep it all cold because there is no fridge (and made a mental note to let Fussypants know he didn’t have to eat those for lunch – because he would have had a fit if he thought he had to eat an entire bag of peas). And a bottle of wine. For me. For later.

As I’m paying, the check-out kid cards me. Which gets my attention. Because I’m 41. And stressed. Which adds years to your face.

When he looked at my ID, he says, “Wow, you don’t look anywhere near 41″.

Bonus. Even though life had given me lemons that morning, my day got a little better. Just like that.

Sometimes, it’s all about making lemonade.

gingerbreadmama

Good guy/bad guy

When Fussypants started his first day of preschool he was 6 months old. My husband was in the fire academy and his time was just not his own and because we didn’t have family near-by getting him to school and picking him up every day was on me. At that age children have a skewed perception of time. An hour can be a minute or it can be 24 hours. He had been left with grandparents before, so I didn’t anticipate any issues. And when I dropped him off that day he was fine, I was the emotional wreck. I made sure I to stay busy at work and the time flew by. Not wanting to miss his 5:00 feeding (I was nursing), I left earlier than normal. But when I picked him up he wouldn’t look me in the eye. He kept turning his head away from me and refused to acknowledge me. He was mad! Again, I was an emotional wreck.

I called my mom on my drive home and weepingly told her how awful I felt and she said something that has stuck with me. “As mommy, you are going to be the bad guy as much as you are the good guy. You will never win, so just accept it but I promise that he’ll come around. He loves you more than anything and you are his world”.

By the time we got home and I sat down to feed him, he was all smiles. My mom was right, he came around. But to this day, I still have a good guy/bad guy relationship with my son. He can be mad at someone else entirely but he takes it out on me. He’ll stick his tongue out at me or pout at me, even if I am not the cause of his distress. It’s like he punishes me, even if I had nothing to do with it. But if he is hurt, scared or has happiness to share, he also comes to me. I am his world.

Don’t misunderstand, he loves his daddy and adores his grandparents and has his own special relationship with each. But I’m his main target for all things good or bad.

My daughter, on the other hand, is happy to see me all the time. Even if she is perfectly content and happy hanging out with someone else, the minute I walk into the room she’s all about mommy. Her eyes light up, she starts making her baby noises and tries to get to wherever I am. She’s only 11 months and I’ve been told by all my mommy friends who have girls that all girls turn into daddy’s little girl, so I expect to be replaced soon, but for now, I am her world.

My children might pile on the bad moments as much as the good moments but the end result is the same. I am loved and that is a very nice feeling.

gingerbreadmama

Grab a cup of coffee or something!

Gigi (Kludgy Mom) used to do Friday Flip-offs. I don’t see them much any more but I’ve got a beef and I need to vent. I’ve simmered down since it happened, which is a good thing, but it’s still on my mind so here’s my flip-off.

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I stayed up late last night watching the Kings hockey game and catching up with my DVR. Hunky hubby was at work, the kids were asleep and I stayed up way past my bedtime. I woke up tired this morning which meant moving slow. Being that it was one of my employee’s last day, I said I’d bring donuts. Cue frantic me, wrangling two kids and the big pink box. Needless to say, I didn’t get to  the preschool until the dreaded hour. My fault, I know.

My kids are considered “full day” kids and school opens for them at 7:15. But the “half day” kids program begins at 8:45 so the parking lot between 8:30 – 9:00 is a nightmare. I can handle that, I can deal with having to park and walk. But what I can’t deal with is the moms that don’t have anywhere to be socializing in the parking lot. Go grab a cup of coffee or something! It is not necessary for you to stand in front of the doorway or the gate to catch up with the same person you saw just the other morning. It is also not necessary for you to stand behind your car or mine or in front of my car door while you chat. I should not have to say excuse me a dozen times to get my kids into their classroom or to get myself into my car.

Maybe I’m a little envious that your time is your own and you have the luxury of talking to your friends and maybe it’s my fault for getting to school during that messy time frame but for the love of all things sacred about having free-time, use it wisely and please don’t make life harder for me. Meet your pals at Starbucks or at the very least move your conversation to a non-pathway location.

I would do it for you. I’ll even hold the door open for you, if you need it. Trust me, if I can make another mom’s life easier, I will. Because I need someone to do that for me on occasion.

So savor your free time, just don’t do it behind my car.

gingerbreadmama

One of those days

Rather than a joyous one of those days moments I’m having a weepy mommy moment.

Less than an hour after I arrived at work, I got a call from my children’s school informing me that “while changing her diaper, Teacher Ms X thought Little Miss felt warm. She’s running a temperature of 101, so please come and get her.”

In itself, this isn’t a big issue, aside from the fact that you never want your children to be ill. My boss is more than flexible and babies in daycare/preschool environments are susceptible to a variety of germs because everything goes in their mouth but I have received this call five times in the last three weeks.

Little Miss weathered a double ear infection, pink eye, RSV, another ear infection and now whatever this fever represents. She is only 10 months old.

As a mom, I am kicking myself for taking her to the Kings game on Monday night. Although she was bundled up snug as a love bug, maybe it wasn’t enough.

As a mom, I am kicking myself for not noticing that she was warm when I got her dressed for school this morning, carried her into school this morning, and kissed her goodbye at school this morning.

As a mom, I am feeling guilty for having to hide from Fussypants when I picked up his sister because he was just getting out of Chapel (which is directly across from the infant/toddler room) and if he had seen me, he would have wanted to go home too.

As a mom, I am feeling guilty for having to leave my sick babe with her Nana (husband wasn’t home yet) because I have a meeting I cannot reschedule at work.

So there it is, today I am feeling crappy that I work.

Which is not a fair thing to do to myself. I long ago came to terms with the fact that I am a working mother.

I don’t straddle the line.

I am a mom.

I have a career.

I make it work.

You can read more about that here. But today I am having a weepy mommy moment because I didn’t notice my baby girl was ill, I want to be home with her but instead have to be in the office.

And the universe must agree because when I dropped her off at my mom’s house, I stepped in dog poop.

gingerbreadmama

gingerbreadmama